the miraculous sermons in my front yard

By: Abigail Dodds
body of Christ, everyday, , 1 Comment on the miraculous sermons in my front yard

A couple of weeks back I was cleaning out flower beds. That, in itself, is a minor miracle, considering it was mid-march in Minnesota.

As I raked out a few leaves and pulled off dead stuff, I had no expectation of seeing growth–none whatsoever. So imagine my surprise when I saw this.

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Amazing right? I had been lulled to sleep by winter, but these little shoots jolted me awake to the reality that God had done it again. He made life come out of the ground. Spring does not usually catch me by surprise, (at least not since I’ve lived in MN and so desperately longed for it) but this year, it did.

Now comes one of the sermons my front yard provided.Image

Can you see it? It looks kind of watery, but it wasn’t. It was pure ice. There were green shoots growing straight through a block of ice attached to the ground.

Just look at it! Leftover death in the form of the long brown leafy things and present death in the form of the ice. And the small green shoot is the miracle of new birth in Christ amidst it all screaming at me to take notice. That shoot is saying, “LOOK at me! This is what happened to you when God quickened life into your dead and sinful heart!” And that is a true testimony. Out of past death and present darkness my new heart was born through Christ.

And here’s sermon number two, just a foot and half away from sermon number one.

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Yep, that’s a thistle. Oooo, I hate them. I pulled this one out with my bare hand. Because sometimes I need to know what sin feels like to my skin. I can mask what it feels like in my heart, but when it makes my hand bleed, there’s no denying it. And the thistle did its God given job of yelling, “Sin isn’t a soft pet that you keep and coddle. It’s prickly and voracious. It is a living, spreading death.”

Our God, El Roi, The God Who Sees, sees us in every little thing we do, and His creation testifies to greater things than mere shoots and thistles. Do I have eyes to see what the Father has revealed in His spoken world? Lord, give me eyes to see and ears to hear!

“’Listen! Behold, a sower went out to sow.4 And as he sowed, some seed fell along the path, and the birds came and devoured it. 5 Other seed fell on rocky ground, where it did not have much soil, and immediately it sprang up, since it had no depth of soil.6 And when the sun rose, it was scorched, and since it had no root, it withered away. 7 Other seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it, and it yielded no grain. 8 And other seeds fell into good soil and produced grain, growing up and increasing and yielding thirtyfold and sixtyfold and a hundredfold.” 9 And he said, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear.’”   Mark 4:3-9

seven layers of delicious complexity

By: Abigail Dodds
body of Christ, everyday, family, gratitude3 Comments on seven layers of delicious complexity

I salivate over seven layer bars.

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I became enamored with them in college. They were available almost every single day in the DC (dining center) at Bethel. How spoiled I was. And, oh, how I took those days of dining with choices galore and desserts every meal for granted.

One of the best things about seven layer bars at my house is that no one else likes them. I know, right?! It’s a sweet deal.

The other night Tom and I were talking about our kids and how unique they each are. And how with each one entering our family, we are forced have an opportunity to grow and “expand our skill set,” as Rachel Jankovic says in Loving the Little Years.

Children– well, people (which children are, after all), are complex, layered little beings. Not only is every child completely unique, but their uniqueness changes as they grow! The minute you think you have your child pegged as ‘x’ they start to expand and grow into ‘x’ and ‘q’.

This is why parents (um, me) should refrain from pegging their children too strongly in any sense. This will quickly become pigeon-holing. It’s all well and good to say, “John’s the talkative one and Sally’s the shy one and Bill’s the athletic one and June’s the math whiz,” if it’s true and inescapable. But it may be true only for a short while. And it may not be the whole truth.

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It doesn’t serve our children well to give them a permanent assignment of their person. Rather, as a pastor at our church often says, “Commend the commendable in them,” (meaning the things pertaining to godly character). Strengthen their identity in Christ and let the other stuff wax and wane as it will.

Children have this ability to become what we repeatedly say they are. Or to rebel against it. So, if a parent says over and over, “Sally’s the shy one.” Sally will most definitely be the shy one. Perhaps until she goes away to college.

Our children are complex by design. They have been made by their Creator with complexity, layers if you will, and the ability to grow and change . We want to encourage this ability as much as we can. It is training in godliness to give our children the security to go from “the athletic one” to “the athletic book worm.” Someday they will need to go from “the student,” to “the student and teacher.”

Not to mention all the absolute changes that repentance requires. But, that’s starting down a different road.

The bottom line is this: knowing our children means observing when they change and expand, and embracing it with them. Encouraging it in them. Not assigning them who they are at 5 years old, thinking, “Well, I’ve got them figured out,” and repeating it until they’re 15. You may have them figured out at 5–it’s possible and probable in some respects. But don’t assume you do. Keep watching. Keep learning. Keep getting to know the complexity that’s in your child.

It will serve them well. It will make them deeper, richer people. And it will do the same for us parents, as well.

“Make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, 6 and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, 7 and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. 8 For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” 2 Peter 1:5-8

alive in Christ

By: Abigail Dodds
body of Christ, everyday5 Comments on alive in Christ

Eliza got me an orchid for Christmas.

I’m notorious for killing houseplants. And outdoor plants. And anything green, growing and beautiful. I am working on my 180 in this regard. My plan is to be a sower, grower, nurturer and harvester. I’ll let you know how I come along.

So, this orchid was given to me on Christmas Eve Day. And it’s still alive. Full stop.

Just writing that sentence “And it’s still alive,” makes me do a double take. I seriously just glanced up from my chair to the orchid to make sure that it hadn’t, in fact, died in the last 15 minutes. Stranger things have happened.

Sometimes I look at myself and I do the same thing. I see my face and think, “I’m still alive.” I feel like an orchid living on a windowsill in a Minnesota house. This is not my natural habitat, and it is going to take someone who knows something about how to care for me to keep me alive. Thanks be to God, He does!

Life is very full of all kinds of crazy hard things. Some good hard, some bad hard. Some a mix of both. And God, in His wisdom, intends for us to live through them. We stay alive. We weather storms and sadness and joys and triumphs and things we never saw coming.

My Tom is far away in India right now, sharing the Gospel with people who haven’t heard it. And I’m alive here: praying, participating, wondering if he’ll come back, trusting in the One who is trustworthy. I was meant to live through this joyful, hard thing and a million other things that are easy, difficult, fun, painful, everything in between.

I’ve read a number of articles on blooming where you’re planted. They’re good. They hit on elements of contentment amid circumstances that you might wish otherwise. But I confess, sometimes a nagging objection surfaces that I wasn’t meant to be planted here.. in this world. Not in the ground anyway. I’m a potted plant– a visitor, an alien, with a caretaker who created me and knows how to keep me alive until I get transplanted to my true home in heaven– all praise to the Lord Jesus Christ.

Paul says in Phillippians, “But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21 who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself. Therefore, my brothers, whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm thus in the Lord, my beloved.”

And in Ephesians, the Lord gives us this beautiful and costly reality to hold on to:

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—6 and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.” [emphasis mine]

So, yes, I am alive in Christ in this world, meant to live the life I’ve been given. And I am also seated with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus– my eternal home in the Lord. I am so grateful.

God's love is not a zero sum game

By: Abigail Dodds
everyday1 Comment on God's love is not a zero sum game

The love of God is multiplying kind of love.

I am so very thankful that God’s love for me never runs out. In fact, quite the opposite. The more I experience and know His love the more of it there seems to be. It grows and grows.

Just like the loaves and fishes that the young boy brought to Jesus. He is never limited by our finitude. Our small ability to comprehend his love doesn’t stop him from multiplying it for us and others in ways that are beyond us. What I particularly am grateful for is the steadfastness of his love. It cannot be moved or shaken. An unshakable love that grows: that is solace and comfort, no matter what I face.

Psalm 42:8

“By day the Lord commands his steadfast love,

and at night his song is with me,

a prayer to the God of my life.”

Psalm 59:17

“O my Strength, I will sing praises to you,

for you, O God, are my fortress,

the God who shows me steadfast love.”

the final wait

By: Abigail Dodds
body of Christ, everyday, family, 3 Comments on the final wait
We have entered the last week of advent. We remember the wait for the birth of baby Jesus.

We remember the waiting that has already been consummated. It has been completed: Jesus did come. Yet we remember and reenact it. But we do not wonder what it’s like to really wait, as though it’s a reenacting apart from our present circumstance that we merely remember. We have our own waiting to do.

For ours is the final wait. We wait for the end, the returning, the perfecting, the new heavens and new earth. Or we wait for our own end that will take us to an early glory. Yes, we are familiar with waiting. Perhaps we are less familiar with the arriving. The actual completion of things waited for. So, we practice the completion at Christmas. We remember that the Messiah, long awaited for, finally did come. And so, we take heart in ours, the final wait.

“8 But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. 9 The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.” 2 Peter 3:8,9

Thank you, Lord, for the waiting.

the twilight of fall

By: Abigail Dodds
body of Christ, everyday, 4 Comments on the twilight of fall

C.S. Lewis has famously called spring the waiting room of the world.

And how much longing there is in those months of March, April and May when every glance toward a tree is straining to see a centimeter of green budding on the tips. Every morning is hopeful for white turned to brown, turned to growth. We wait and wait and wait in spring.

But fall is another matter entirely. Fall is that rare wonder of blessing that is granted practically upon our first inclination to want it.

Our eyes are suddenly catching glimpses of orange, red and yellow. Everything is crisp and crunchy. And how we love it. We love it so much we can hardly imagine that we ever  wished it to be any other way. Summer is scorned in the long shadow of autumn’s glory.

Yet as soon as it is at its very prime–the peak has come–it is already hinting at its departure. The air is too crisp, it freezes in our nose. The leaves are all crunch and no color.

The blessing of fall comes while we yet enjoy the lingering warmth of summer and it slips away long before we’re ready. If spring is the waiting room, fall is the final arrival and last goodbye. It is the sweet hymn that carries us to death. It is the twilight before all the lights go out.

Was ever dying so beautiful as it is in fall? Fall shows us the beauty that dying ought to be. Dying may be the most beautiful, painful part of living. Jesus died on a cross. All pain and horror, yet beautiful forgiveness was won.

Then three days of darkest winter and spring came again.

So, yes, fall is the twilight that leads to death. And death is that stingless, victory-less gateway to life. So white and cold it will have no taste in my mouth. It is the blink that brings us to eternity.

hospitality and small children

By: Abigail Dodds
body of Christ, everyday, family, kiddos, 15 Comments on hospitality and small children

I’ve been thinking about the joys and challenges of being hospitable with small children at home.

Having toddlers afoot amid home and meal preparations, while expecting a large or small gathering of people, can be a challenge. So much so that many people just don’t do it much at all. But it can also be a great joy and delight.

I have certainly experienced both the difficulties and delights of parenting kids while trying to keep everything picked up and in its place and keep enough gas in my tank so that I’ve got a truly warm welcome for the people walking through the door. The reality is, often I don’t have enough gas in my tank at the arrival of guests. But one thing I’ve always found to be true: God’s grace covers me over and over as friends and family and neighbors and guests enter our home. In my weakness, He is strong and He glorifies His greatness even more because of my tired, broken down reliance on him.

Here are some things to keep in mind as you pursue hospitality with small children at home:

1) Hospitality is a family affair. 2 and 3-year-olds can get a vision for it if you communicate it to them. So, be excited about serving others in your home and they will be too.

2) When you communicate the vision of hospitality to your little kids, make sure you let them know that it is an honor to receive guests, be it family, friends or strangers. Therefore, we seek to treat anyone who enters our home with special honor.

3) Start preparing early with the help of your children. If I know that we’re having a big group over, I begin preparations days in advance and engage the children as much as I possibly can. I let them know why we’re working on getting things in order, or getting food ready, etc. Often this brings on a plethora of teaching opportunities as your children may give you resistance, but it also gives them a wonderful sense of ownership in loving the people who come over.

4) Don’t let parenting and hospitality compete, let them complement. In other words, don’t sacrifice parenting for hospitality or vice versa. If you’re consumed with making your home perfect to the detriment and neglect of your children, that’s a failure all around. Hospitality is an opportunity to teach and better parent your children. Use hospitality to your children’s great benefit.

Or, if you abandon hospitality because it’s just too much work to do it alongside parenting, again, you’re missing the boat. If you’re not hospitable while children are afoot, you cannot bequeath that characteristic to them. And chances are you won’t magically start being hospitable when they turn 8 or 9 or 14 or 15. The pattern will be set.

5) While you can engage your children to help with many things, they can’t help with everything and that’s right and good. They learn by watching. Also, while you do the grown-up jobs, it is another time to teach them to play together peacefully (we aim high and fail often here!).

I often tell the kids they can each pick one toy or book to play with while I set about the grown-up jobs. This is good discipline for them. It helps them to explore all the fun ways you can play with ONE toy. And they often play together, because then they have access to the toys their siblings picked. This keeps messes to a minimum and creativity to the maximum.

6) Expect everything to go wrong. Because it will. You might think the children are playing quietly with their one-toy-a-piece when really they’ve just made a disaster area out of the basement. You may have the bathrooms polished a day in advance, only to have the three-year-old smear toothpaste on the hand towel, wall and floor, while the baby unrolls the toilet paper, again.

You may lay out the best, most inspiring vision for hospitality, only to have your child respond selfishly, with, “but I don’t want anyone else to sit in my chair!” All I can say is, persevere. It’s worth it. They’ll get it eventually. Not perfectly, not all the time, but in bits and pieces, they’ll start to love hospitality, they’ll love loving others, and hopefully they’ll love our hospitable God who inspires and commands it for His people.

7) Remember that it’s more important to do it wrong than not to do it. Say what?! Yes. Have people over, have everything go wrong with the kids not helping and the house not ready and the coffee unmade. Let people in. Turn down the voice in your head that can’t let go of all the things that are screaming at you as you walk through the house. The spot of who-knows-what under the kitchen chair; the smudges and handprints on the sliding door; the messy bed in your son’s room. Turn that voice OFF!

People have entered your home, you owe all your care and attention to the souls under your roof, not the dish left in the sink. It’s time to be Mary, not Martha.

8) Finally, make sure that even as you teach your children to be hospitable in your and their home, also be hospitable to them. While your children are not guests, they also are not going to be there forever. Take time to serve them and treat them with special honor, just as you want them to do to others. Children who’ve tasted what it’s like to be served and honored selflessly will have a better idea of how to do it for others. And more than that, they are worth it.

I hope you’re encouraged to be hospitable through the years of young children and messy parenting. Let the welcoming and tender care of your loving Father inspire you. He welcomes us because of His great love for us, love that comes at great and unthinkable cost to Himself. What a God we serve.

my 20's: the story behind the story

By: Abigail Dodds
blogging, everyday, 8 Comments on my 20's: the story behind the story

I’ve had an eventful decade.

My 20’s are rapidly coming to a close and here’s my just-the-facts-ma’am recap of them:

age 20: Start dating Tom and get engaged to him. Begin attending BBC.

age 21: Become Mrs. Thomas Dodds, move into the house on Portland Ave.  Encourage Tom to start his own business. Start a small group in our home.

age 22: Graduate from Bethel College and begin (and end) my short stint at a pro-life organization.

Become pregnant and give birth to Eliza Grace. Become a mom to a baby girl. Practice life without an income.

age 23: Practice being a wife and mom. Start to see growth in Tom’s business. Say goodbye to my best friend who moves away.

age 24: Become pregnant. Move to the house on Grouse Hollow. Give birth to Seth Thomas. Become a mom to a baby boy.

age 25: Become pregnant for a third time. Keep practicing the wife and mom thing. Say goodbye to Tom’s Grandma Ione, who passed away.

age 26: Give birth to Elianna Faith. Become a mom to a baby girl, for the second time. Start another small group in our home.

age 27: Tom informs me I’m 90% of the way to 30 yrs old. Keep on keepin’ on with the wife and mom gig. Say goodbye to my Grandpa Rodney, who passed away. Live through a massive hail storm that caused damage to our home, narrowly avoid a tornado.

age 28: Become pregnant for the fourth time. Say goodbye to that little one in the summer due to miscarriage. Become pregnant for a fifth time.

age 29: Give birth to Evangeline Joy. Become a mom to a baby girl, for the third  time.

So, there are the facts of the matter. But there is a hidden story that’s missing from these facts. The story behind the story.

There is truth that is missing from these facts. And this truth is the most important part of my 20’s. It’s the true story that shows how God has kept me during this past decade. He really has kept me. He has hidden me in the shadow of His wing.

Here are a few of the ways He’s kept me, the story behind the story:

The Lord kept me through many great friendships, and, what felt like no friendships. He is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

The Lord kept me through years of no income and years of plentiful income. He is my Portion forever.

The Lord kept me through times of depression and times of joy. He is my Strength and the Lifter of my Head.

The Lord kept me through days of birth and days of death. He is the Good Giver and the Wise Taker.

The Lord kept me through doubts and confidence. He is my Comfort who is over all and in all and through all.

The Lord kept me through city life and suburb life. Nothing can separate me from His Love. Where can I hide from His presence?

The Lord kept me through single life and married life. He is the God who grants our participation in His mysterious metaphors.

The Lord kept me through mothering magic and mayhem. He gently leads those who are with young.

Ultimately, the Lord has kept me His own. He has caused me to persevere in every circumstance because He is the Good Shepherd and no one can snatch me out of His hand.  I persevere because of His faithfulness, not my own.

So, I have a great many hopes for my 30’s. I hope that I will be less weak. More steady. Less selfish. More selfless. Less fearful. More bold.

And at the core of my hope is Jesus. I hope in Him, because He is the One “who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy.” I put my hope in “the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord.” Jude 1:24

So long 20’s.  It was a ride.

how children are provoked to anger, and what to do instead

By: Abigail Dodds
body of Christ, everyday, family, kiddos, , , 5 Comments on how children are provoked to anger, and what to do instead

Mark Altrogge at The Blazing Center had this insightful list of ways that children are provoked to anger. It was very helpful for me.

Here’s what he had to say about how children are provoked to anger:

“- By constantly criticizing them and not encouraging them.  When they feel they can never please us enough.
– By having double standards – Do as I say, not as I do.  Expecting them to do things we don’t do, e.g. ask forgiveness, humble themselves, etc.
– By anger and harshness
– By a lack of affection
– By telling them what to do or not do without giving Biblical reasons (e.g., Do it because I said to do it, or because it’s just wrong).
– By being offended at their sin because it bothers us, not because it offends God.
– By comparing them to others (Why can’t you act like your sister?)
– By hypocrisy – acting like a Christian at church but not at home
– By embarrassing them (correcting, mocking or expressing disappointment in them in front of others)
– By always lecturing them and never listening to them
– By disciplining them for childishness or weakness, not for sin
– By failing to ask their forgiveness when we sin against them
– By pride – failing to receive humble correction from our spouses or our children when we sin.
– By self-centered reactions to their sin (How could you do this to ME?)
– By ungracious reactions to their sin (What were you thinking?  Why in the world would you do that?)
– By forgetting that we were (and are) sinners (I would NEVER have done that when I was your age).

May God give us gracious, gentle, humble, affectionate hearts toward our children.”

Reading this makes me pray, pray and pray some more that Jesus would work in my kids’ lives despite their mom’s sins. I thought it would be helpful to turn this list into a positive “to do,” to go along with the “not-to-do.”  Sometimes I do better when I have a target to aim at, not only a boogey man to avoid. Both are good.

So, “Let us consider how to stir up one another (esp. our children) to love and good works.. encouraging one another and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” Hebrews 10:24

Here’s the “how-to version” to stir up our children to love and good works:

– By encouraging them and letting them know how pleased and delighted we are with them. By pointing out the grace of God in their daily life.

– By setting an example in our daily walk with the Lord. Modeling humility. By expecting the same standard out of ourselves as we do out of our children.

– By being loving and brokenhearted when they sin. By sacrificing our own comfort and to-do list for the day to bring them back to fellowship with us and the family.

– By open and tender affection.

– By showing them examples from the Bible that they can understand and identify with to lead them towards the Lord.

– By being brokenhearted (not in a manipulative way) about their sin, because of its offense to God, yet being hopeful for their growth.

– By seeing them as uniquely formed and made by God for a purpose.

– By being consistent in our walk with God and our attitude toward them.

– By honoring them privately and, on occasion, publicly.

– By listening to their side and hearing the heart underneath.

– By bearing with their weaknesses and childishness. By being consistent in discipline for sin.

– By asking for forgiveness when we sin against them.

– By humbly receiving correction from our spouse or our children when we sin.

– By reacting to their sin with a concern for their soul.

– By graciously responding to their sin with firmness and lion-hearted love.

– By remembering who we were and who we are: fellow sinners with our children and (hopefully) co-heirs of Jesus with them as well.

a new book on depression

By: Abigail Dodds
body of Christ, culture, everyday, , , 4 Comments on a new book on depression

Here’s a book I’m looking forward to reading. It’s called Christians Get Depressed Too by David Murray. I’m hoping it expresses some of what is needed in the conversation about Christians and depression.

Dr. Wes Bredenhof reviews the book saying this:

“There is a perception out there that depression is, at its roots, a spiritual problem.  According to this perception, people become depressed because they have done something sinful.  A true and faithful Christian would never get depressed.  Part of Murray’s burden in this book is to dismantle that perception.  He does that with an open Bible, explaining how godly believers in both Testament struggled with this problem.

The author goes on to outline how complex depression is – there are no trite and easy answers.  He describes the problem in a way that will be helpful for those trying to understand it.  He also gives hope, comfort, and help for those who are suffering.  Again, all of this is grounded in the Word of God.  Yes, Murray believes that Christians can learn from medical science and he attempts to incorporate some of those insights into this book.  He is also firmly convinced that medication can not only alleviate symptoms, but also address the causes of depression in many cases.”

Sounds good.

When God provides means through common grace (via counseling or medicine) to help us in our human state for something like depression, we should accept with thanks. That is God’s grace and healing.

One thing that I’ve often heard suggested from fellow believers as a means to improve depression is a change of diet or to begin taking a particular natural supplement. Sometimes these same people are leery of what modern medicine might suggest for depressed people, like an anti-depressant. There is an irony in this. They believe it valid to change the biology of your body through a new diet or “natural” pill (with no provable tests results showing success), but consider it less valid (less holy?) to change the biology of your body through a drug, that has been tested, peer-reviewed and proven effective for severe depression.

My hope is that this book affords depressed Christians the same love the Lord affords them. “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth.” Poor in spirit. Mourning. Meek. They are blessed. Let’s learn from depressed people instead of relegating them to “struggling” Christian and taking pot shots at prozac from the pulpit.

There is much to learn about God and ourselves from those who have walked in the dark valleys.

Bredenhoff goes on to say:

“I’ve read and reviewed several books on this subject over the years.  I’ve learned that depression is a dark and ugly consequence of the fall into sin.  It is no less a part of this world of dysfunction than is cancer.  At the same, I’ve learned (and Murray’s book has reinforced this) that depression reminds us of how little we know about the workings of the human brain and how it relates to our non-material aspect (our soul).  Finally, I’ve become convinced that God brings trials (including depression) our way so as to shape, teach, and lead us.  This little book brings us back to the Word through which that all happens.”

I can’t endorse a book I haven’t read, but the review sure sounds good.

HT: Challies