Some days I get paralyzed.
The amount that needs done and my intimate knowledge of my own finite abilities freeze me up. And often there are other factors at play as well–normal life difficulties that feel abnormally hard.
Today has started as one of those days. So, I’m going to stop, drop and roll. Just kidding. Well, not really. I’m going to write my paralysis down, own it, and with God’s help and very imperfectly, try and move.
This isn’t willpower. This is neediness and desperation. This is trusting that the Lord will meet me and that as I put one foot in front of the other, because I must, he will be doing the heavy lifting, and the light lifting, and all the lifting.
Enter my crash course in Reality 101. My feelings versus external reality:
1) I feel overwhelmed by today. I feel like I can’t get school done and the house ready to show and, and, and. Reality is that I am overwhelmed, but God’s love overwhelms the overwhelmed. His love for me and detailed care for me is endless.
I will recount the steadfast love of the LORD,
the praises of the LORD,
according to all that the LORD has granted us,
and the great goodness to the house of Israel
that he has granted them according to his compassion,
according to the abundance of his steadfast love.
(Isaiah 63:7 ESV)
But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved-
(Ephesians 2:4-5 ESV)
2) I feel weightiness on my chest. I feel burdened by many things. Reality is there is much to be burdened by, but bearing other’s burdens is my calling and privilege as part of the family of God. And the burden of my sin, I do not carry any more.
Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
(Galatians 6:2 ESV)
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
(Matthew 11:28-30 ESV)
3) I feel inadequate, weak in faith. I feel like a better woman wouldn’t be having these problems. Reality is, I am inadequate and there are better, godly women who aren’t having my problems, but God specializes in the inadequate. He comes for the sick and the broken-down. He helps those with weak faith. And He uses those godly women to teach me, because he’s kind.
“But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.” And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.” Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!”
(Mark 9:22-24 ESV)
4) I feel alone. This is the worst one. This is the one feeling that is an outright lie. The other feelings are all legit–incomplete without the application of the Word, but truthful. This “alone” feeling has done its terrible work time and again. But it is simply untrue, and the Spirit testifies to its falsehood. Reality is, I am not alone; I am never alone.
And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you.
“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.
(John 14:16-18 ESV)
“These things I have spoken to you while I am still with you. But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.
(John 14:25-27 ESV)
Thank you Spirit, for being my Helper. Thank you Jesus, for being my Savior. Thank you Jehovah, for being the great I AM who I AM, unchanging, solid, perfection. Sanctify me in the truth, your Word is truth. Thank you for being God over my paralysis and feelings. Thank you for your great love and pardon. Thank you for being with me in it all.