parents, are you moralists or theologians?

By: Abigail Dodds
body of Christ, everyday, family, questions, recommendations, 5 Comments on parents, are you moralists or theologians?

Of course the two aren’t mutually exclusive.  

But what’s your bent when you teach your kids what Christianity is all about?  I admit that it’s easier for me to fall into teaching my kids the moralistic part of Christianity as the main point.

Bruce Ware, Professor of Christian Theology at Southern Seminary, has a new book out called, Big Truths for Young Hearts: Teaching and Learning the Greatness of God.  Justin Taylor interviews him about it on his blog.  

Here’s the killer excerpt:

I suspect that most parents are more comfortable teaching their kids Christian ethics (love God, don’t love the world, tell the truth, don’t cheat or steal, etc.) than they are teaching them Christian theology (how can God be three and one? How is Jesus God and man?). Why is it important for parents to learn good theology and pass it on to their kids?

He follows up the question by saying:

The Christian faith is not moralism. Yet, we can (wrongly and dangerously!) pervert the Christian faith into this, in our homes and our churches. Our lists of “do’s” and “don’t’s” can become the sum and substance of our understanding of the Christian faith, and in this self-esteem saturated culture, this ends up redounding to the glory of the “self,” not the glory of God.

How much time do I spend making sure my kids understand the morality of Christianity compared to the time I spend diligently teaching them the truths of who God is, why Jesus came, and the total depravity of man.  We do talk about them, but is it primary?    

Moralism is easy.

It’s easy for grown-ups and kids.  We all know what to do with a rule.  Don’t lie.  Be kind.  Pray often.  Don’t envy.  And then we either feel good about keeping it or we feel good about breaking it.  Or guilty.  But massive weighty truths about God affect us differently.  They actually have the power to transform our mind, our heart, our worldview.

Here’s some truths that Dr. Ware says we all need to embrace, learn and teach:

  • who God is in his eternal fullness as the triune God,
  • who God is as Creator of all that is,
  • who we are as created in his image,
  • what sin is and has done to us,
  • why Christ came, who Christ is,
  • what he accomplished,
  • how we receive the benefits of his work on the cross,
  • what God provides for us to grow as his people,
  • what these communities of faith called “churches” are and what they contribute,
  • and what hope we have for life now and forever

I haven’t read Dr. Ware’s book, so I won’t endorse it.  But the stuff from his interview sure is helpful.  

How do you navigate being a parent-theologian?  It’s a big job isn’t it?!

some good and not-so-good reasons to memorize fighter verses

By: Abigail Dodds
body of Christ, everyday, family, recommendations, , 8 Comments on some good and not-so-good reasons to memorize fighter verses

We memorize fighter verses at church.  They’re just sets of verses that take us through the year.  For more info on them check out my “I recommend” page.  Also this week’s fighter verse (and every week’s) can be found and meditated on at fighterverses.com.  Here’s this week’s:

I will bless the LORD at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul makes its boast in the LORD; let the humble hear and be glad. Oh, magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together!  Psalm 34:1-3

I encourage everyone to memorize the fighter verses.  Or memorize Scripture according to whatever plan you have set up for yourself.  It’s beneficial.  

That said, the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked.  Who can know it?  So, even something like memorizing the Bible can be done with the wrong motives.  Here’s some examples of good and not-so-good reasons to memorize fighter verses:

no-so-good: I learned the fighter verse because I wanted to be called on Sunday morning to recite it and show everyone how holy I am.  

good: I learned the fighter verse because I wanted to be called on Sunday morning to recite it and encourage my brothers and sisters in Christ with the Word of God on my lips.

not-so-good:  I learned the fighter verse so I could recite it Sunday morning in the hopes that one of the pastoral staff would recognize me and congratulate me for my job well done.

good: I learned the fighter verse so I could recite it Sunday morning and one of the pastoral staff could point to me and say, “If Abigail (low brain function) can do it, then you can too!” and encourage others in their goals.  

not-so-good: I learned the fighter verse and taught it to my children so they could recite it Sunday morning (and on cue everywhere else) to show everyone what a good parent I am.

good: I learned the fighter verse and taught it to my children so that God’s Word would be in their mind and hopefully make its way to their heart.  

not-so-good: I learned the fighter verse so that next time I see “so and so” I can slap them up side the head with it.  They are always boasting and this week’s verse is about that.  They definitely need to work on that area of their life.  Plus, they’ll see how holy I am.

good:  I learned the fighter verse so that with humility, I can begin to look at the wickedness of my own heart through the lens of Scripture.  

Of course, in order to come up with these reasons, you can safely assume that I’ve had inklings towards all of them.  Even if subconscious at times.  I’m not sure the human race is capable of a motive that is 100% pure.  

But even if your motives are wrong or partly wrong and you’re working on making them pure, keep memorizing.  When I was a child in AWANA, I guarantee you my motives had nothing to do with putting God’s Word in my heart.

They had to do with winning.  I was ultra competitive.  I wanted to say more verses than anyone else and I wanted my team to win.  Memorizing verses was a means to winning.  Yet, God in His grace has not let His Word return void in my life.  

The foundation of verses stored up in my mind as a child have made their way to my heart.  And I am exceedingly grateful that they are there.  And I long to add to them.  Maybe you’ll consider what God might do through Scripture memory in your life?

is safety a virtue or vice?

By: Abigail Dodds
everyday, family, kiddos, questions, , 12 Comments on is safety a virtue or vice?

Sometimes I will admit to people, “I’m not a real safety-oriented mom.”  

I hope you aren’t gasping in horror.  But it’s true (although mostly unintentional).  I just don’t think of safety a whole lot.  And it’s not because I’ve never been in proximity to people who have had bad things happen to them, like car accidents or other types of accidents.  I think it’s more of a combination of the way I was raised and what I hope is common sense.  Though I may be wrong on that.

Does knowledge require action?  If I know that kids are safer when wearing a helmet, am I then required (morally) to have them wear one?  And how often is often enough?  When riding bikes?  Scooters?  Running fast?  Always when on pavement?  When riding in a car?  In the home?

For me, I think of helmets as essential when on a high traffic street or when riding a motorcycle.  But it doesn’t seem like a big deal to me to let kids ride their bicycles without one in a neighborhood with minimal, slow-driving traffic.

But is this a legitimate moral line I’ve drawn?  Or just preference?  When does safety become a must?

Should I have child locks on my cupboards?  Should we have a barrier to our pond (although the tall grasses provide a pretty good one.)?  A fence around our yard?  The standard for safety seems to be getting higher and higher.  So much so that I believe our children will be in car seats until they are teens.  I wish I were joking about that.

Should I be viewing high safety standards as a bit of common grace from God that allows us to better protect our children?  Or is it a type of idol that we are enslaved to, giving us a false sense of control in regard to our children’s well-being?  Or maybe it could be either.  

Our parents certainly didn’t have the safety standards we do, but they also lacked the information and equipment.  So how much safety is enough to assuage our consciences that we’ve done enough?  

What are your must-do safety standards?  Do you think a high regard for safety brings glory to God?  What about those who are unconcerned with safety?  Can this view bring glory to God?

younger brother prodigals, older brother judgment and the third way

By: Abigail Dodds
body of Christ, family, politics, recommendations3 Comments on younger brother prodigals, older brother judgment and the third way

At Between Two Worlds, Justin Taylor points to this great article by Marvin Olasky from World magazine.

Olasky has some great insights into the younger brother/older brother phenomena, as it touches the Christian and secular world.  He says “We all know of the younger brother’s libertine living.”  But he describes the older brother’s problem as more subtle, “He is self-righteous and lacks joy.”  He goes on:

Part of the evangelical political problem in contemporary America is that much of the press and public sees us as elder brothers..  

In the realm of “social justice,” younger brothers want governmental redistribution so that everyone, regardless of conduct, gets part of the national inheritance. Some recipients of Washington’s largesse are widows and orphans, but others are younger brothers or sisters who should go home but do not because government checks allow them to keep destroying themselves. Elder brothers, though, wax sarcastic about wastrels while they overlook the needy. “Social justice” turns into either social universalism or Social Darwinism.

He analyzes journalism, higher education, and more with the younger/older brother lens.  I found it helpful.  The first time I recall reading the parable of the prodigal was as a grade school kid and I thought “What! Why wouldn’t the dad give the older brother a party too?”  I didn’t get it.

He goes on to say:

Younger brothers who perceive self-righteousness or joylessness in their elders head toward mockery. On the Comedy Network, Jon Stewart is a snarky younger brother and Stephen Colbert pretends to be an elder as he parodies FOX’s tut-tutting Bill O’Reilly. Elder brothers tend to forget that truth without love is like sodium without chloride: Poison, not salt.

What’s rare on television and in life are third brothers who, because they know deeply that the Father loves them, have love for and patience with both elder and younger brothers. Third brothers, knowing they have been forgiven, are not prideful. 

He concludes with this:

Third brothers ask pointed questions, and here are ones for each of us to answer: Am I a younger, elder, or third brother? Can we, through God’s grace, leave behind elder- and younger-brotherism?

I’ve fought against the elder brother attitude. God has ways of dealing with us “elder-brother” types.  It’s not always pretty.  But it is always loving.

So, are you an older, younger or third way-er?

Mr. TommyD and 13 things

By: Abigail Dodds
everyday, family, , , 7 Comments on Mr. TommyD and 13 things

At the marriage retreat we were given an assignment to make a list of 25 things we appreciate about our spouse.  I thought I share some of my list with you.  I’ll do 13, because his birthday is on the 13th of April.  And you might get bored with 25.  

Mr. TommyD is a great guy, it’d be a terrible thing to keep all his wonderfulness to myself!

Did I mention I like lists?  

1) He extols and praises God in everyday speech with whomever he’s around.  

2) He leads our family in worship and when he worships God, it’s contagious.

3) He takes risks.  Not dumb blind risks, but risks that require trusting God and are for our good.

4) He goes for things.  He started his own business.  He’s good at it.  

5) If I’m exhausted from being up with the baby and he doesn’t have an early meeting, he does breakfast with the kids and lets me sleep.

6) He listens to and values my input.  He actually asks for it and wants to know what I think about things.

7) He regularly examines his own soul.  He doesn’t often accuse me of things or judge me or question my motives.  He looks for the flaws in himself before he approaches me with a problem I have.

8) He is hungry for our kids to see God in a transforming way and for them to fall in love with God and the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

9) He does most of the bills.  (that one looks small, but boy is it big).

10) He’s a great gift-giver.  He surprised me with the MacBook I’m now typing on, and for Christmas got me gift certificates to a spa (one for me and one for a friend to bring along).

11) He initiates prayer with the kids and me, everyday.

12) He’ll pick up supper when I’m worn out and doesn’t view it a deficiency on my part.  In other words, he’s gracious and understanding about what it’s like to take care of three little ones and the home.

13) He uses my hairdryer to warm up the bed sheets before I get in at night.  

Yep, I know, he’s great.  What does your spouse do that you appreciate?  Have you told them?  They might be pleasantly surprised!